GARDEN POLICE

THERE  is an evident tendency in television lately.
At least in USA, cup cakes competitions, restaurant impossible, bar rescue, swamp people, gold diggers, men vesus food (eating like a hog),  porn and Cajun pawn shops, all aimed at white folks or rednecks if you prefer. Gardening has been forgotten in their one track riff raff oriented mind/world.

I propose  Garden Police. In this show, I would be the chief judge. Traveling conditions and salary is
negotiable.  


Participants will not,  be humiliated with cynical comments at all or be interviewed. or speak, who cares about your opinions if the composition, plant selection speaks for you for your landscape designer, landscape architect or yourself.


My proposal is simple. As in the cup cakes tv show,  your garden will be strictly judged on aesthetics or presentation value for your geographic region.

But in my educated opinion, what will determine a winner are the following:  cost of men/hours doing the maintenance for the month/year. 


How much oil/gas/propane/diesel/electricity is used in any power tools for the keep up.

How much water it requires to keep the installation alive during the year/seasons, along with pesticide, herbicide and fertilizer. 


Some rules will be designed  to judge in specific eco-regions since the aesthetics, appearance of a garden in desert/rain forest situations and places in between are not necessarily the same.  Not for the untrained eye. Also in terms of pollution, water usage in a desert garden requires more and less of each.


The botanical inventory, including plants, insects, birds and such. If you have animals of companion hanging x amount of hours in the garden, you get a bonus, since some pets or aoc tend to disturb, destroy, damage.

Measures will be important to determine the percentage of lawns, hedges, topiaries as a whole.
The more of each, less chance to win.

Gardens with palm trees of any kind except those I accept will receive a demerit to be add at the end.

Trees, bushes, plants and vines  providing fruit and/or fragrance will get a bonus.

Now you have the picture or photo of the concept.
Meanwhile take a deep breath, how would you and your garden measure up?

The prizes would vary. A cup cake from Karen me wife friend/entrepeneur  with one or two Antigonum the barista made espresso coffee or a round trip to gualt disney world in Florida, even if you live in Florida. 


Everyjuan can participate it does not matter if your garden is an acre or more or 450 square meters.